Star Trek Character Test

Do this incredible Star Trek Character Test and find out who you are!

Questions

What Hair?
It's all natural blonde!
The way it looks when I get up in the morning.
Short so it does not interfere with my work.
Long and tied back.
Long and loose.
Traditionally.
I put it on every morning.
Everywhere.

In your spare time you...

...go to the holodeck and lead a different life.
...try out the famous food of ancient civilizations.
...have a huge party and when I wake up the next day I can't remember my own name.
...tear off your shirt.
...invent something useful.
...play an instrument or sing.
...act.
...terrorize Geordy LaForge or Worf.
...play poker or other games of chance.
...play pool.
...play darts.
...rebuild ancient space ships and talk to prophets.
...spy on others.
...work out, do some training, stuff like that.
What is spare time?

When you meet the representatives of an alien planet you...

...pee on their holy trees or trample through the flower bed.
...get involved with them more than you like.
...get involved with them less than you hoped.
...get hit in the stomach.
...make a complete fool of yourself.
...try to sell them weapons.
...try to sell them the ships library.

When you see a poor defenceless and injured being you...

...shoot at it some more before it can shoot you.
...help it at any cost.
...sell it some weapons so it can defend itself.
...tell it that the federation long ago overcame such things as poverty and blah blah blah.
...join with it.
I am poor and defenceless.

When confronted with a beserk Klingon you...

...hide under the table.
...growl at him.
...eat his Gagh.
...try to get him to play a game of chance.
...sense some kind of hostality.
...ignore him.

Your favourite food is...

...alive.
...pineapple.
...cat food substitiution no 42.
...chocolate ice cream.
...spicy and hot.
...without any taste at all.
...popcorn and chips.
I don't know.

When you go into a bar...

...people run away screaming.
...people begin to shoot at you.
...the barkeeper brings you a prune juice.
...the barkeeper gives you a kiss.
...you intent to get the girl.
You don't go into bars.
...you get drunk.
...it is only because of your job.
...to socialize with others and have some fun playing a game.

When you see an ensign with a red/yellow shirt on an alien planet you say:

"He's dead, Jim."
"How about a date?"
"Draw, stranger!"
"Yes, sir!"
"Duck, ensign!"
It's not funny to make fun of Ensigns!

When people enter your office/your work uninvited, you...

...advise them not to step into the bucket.
...hit them with a book.
...throw your baseball at them.
...tell them that you had nothing to do with it and that it wasn't your fault.
...try to get him/her into bed if they are of the opposit sex.
...ask them to lie down and question them about their mother.
...probably ain't there anyway.
...you greet them with a smile on your face.
...you greet them with a grim face.
...yell at them until they are a weeping heap on the floor.

When your ship jumps to warp, you...

...get sick.
...get excited.
...worry about the subspace manifolds.
...notice the subspace variance is not perfectly adjusted.
...order a prune juice.
...have to get them out of a frozen Lake 20 years later.
...notice nothing special.

When the transporter malfunctions, you...

...call engineering.
...get younger.
...get older.
...get sick.
...get back in time.
...get into a parrallel universe.
...get the hyper spanner and fix it.
...kick it.

When you encounter a new species you...

...try to assimilate them.
...ask them for a map.
...make first contact according to star fleet regulations.
...try to find out which are the women.
...try to find out more about their mating rituals.
...try to avoid them.
...sell them weapons.
...cure them of a deadly disease.
...look them up the Vulcan database.
...tell them to call you Jim.

Every time something happens you say things like:

"On screen!"
"The vulcans won't like that."
"Fascinating."
"Intriguing."
"It will take weeks to repair it!"
"I can't sense anything, captain."
"We should use our weapons, sir."
"I'm back!"
"The universal translater can't make out a pattern, sir."
"It wasn't me, it was Harrys idea!"
"Maybe that's the way home."
"Yes, Captain."
You just say nothing. As always these f***ing authors didn't give you ONE F***ING LINE!

Everytime you get close to a woman/man...

...someone turns off the holodeck.
...she gives you a highly addictive video game.
...she dies.
...your back hurts for a week at least.
...tell her something about weapons.
...you dissolve.
...she tells you that she can't get involved with you because of some strange social conventions.
...you have incredible sex.
...you get pregnant.
I don't get close to anyone.

What is your favourite song/type of music?

"Lucy in the Sky (with Diamonds)"
"Mayor Tom"
"Row Row Row Your Boat"
"You Are My Sunshine"
Everything in the ships library, played simultaniuosly.
Klingon Opera
An old Ressican tune.
Jazz.
I'm not so much into misic.

Vash is...

...good looking.
...associated with Q.
...a pain in the ass.
...unknowen to me.

Everytime I sit behind the wheel...

...everyone ducks behind their station.
...everyone is in good hands.
Normally I don't get to drive so much.

The thing I like most about the 20st century earth is...

...that it's finally over.
...that I can go back there everytime I want to and have some reeeeal fun.
...that it didn't blow up in a big nuclear war.
...that everyone was so eager to buy my new weapons.
...that I'm no longer a part of it.
...the great movies.
...the great works of art, literature and stuff.

When you take a look at your watch...

...you find that you have completely lost time singing a little tune.
...you find that it is off by 0.00142 microseconds.
...that you lost 2 entire days in that damn wormhole.
...that there hasn't been a dangerous anomality for almost one hour now.
...that you haven't tried to have sex for at least one hour now.
...that noone made fun of you for almost one hour now.
...that you have spend too long in that damn transporter stream.
...you realize that it is almost time to become liquid and that your bucket is nowhere around.
...you realize that noone has bought a drink for 2 minutes.
...that it's almost time for your holodeck appointment.
...nothing happens.

What is your favourite occupation?

I am dead (or something like that).
I like sports.
Reading a good book.
Saving the world, of course.
Have some fun, hang out with friends, killing time, playing poker.
I spend a lot of time with my self made phantasies.

Other people would like to...

...avoid you.
...punch you.
...get involved with you.
...eat the stuff you cook.
...NOT eat the stuff you cook.
...have you with them so you can settle their differencies.
...have you as a friend.
...buy something from you.
...communicate to you.

Choose your weapon:

Starfleet standard phaser.
Phase pistol.
Klingon Bat'leth.
Cardassian Disruptor.
Bajoran Phaser.
Bare hands.
Teeth.
Bottle of saurian brandy.
Hypospray.
Tounge.
Pen.
.45 Colt.
Hyper spanner.
Sex.

When you have to use a computer...

...you simply talk to it.
...you curse it.
...you press as many buttons you can reach at once.
...you spend half the time searching for the right button.
...you lean back in your chair and press to only button on the console.
...you tell Data (or someone else) to do it.
...you can't figure out what damn isolinear chip belogs where.
...it makes your face look strange because of the faint blue glow that's coming from the interface.
...you are not allowed to use any computer.

My family:

I have a brother.
I have a sister.
I live with my parents.
I'm a proud parent.
I see them occasionaly.
...is my people.
...is annoying.
...is dead, I'm the only one left.
Their status is unknown.

...and last: Do you want to exclude the other sex?

No.
Yes. I am female.
Yes. I am male.

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